Date Posted: 8 November 2016
10 Things to do For Better Relationship Sex
Hey, if you are a great fu*k, you’re a great fu*k – no need to apologize to someone who isn’t; obviously, not everybody has the skill to be phenomenal in the sack - it’s a matter of temperament, rush, devotion, sensuality and, naturally, drive. And that’s okay.
Unfortunately, even great lovers can hit a rough patch. This tends to happen in long-term relationships where sex gets replaced with chilling with friends, teasing gets replaced with talks about what to eat that day and the time together gets overall neglected. Then what? Break up? Nah. Fix it.
Here's what it takes to go from "eh" to "AH!"
Give her the fantasy
The world will teach you men are sex-craving animals who simply have to stick it somewhere or they’ll die. Gross. The reality of things is that women are waaaaay more willing than we are, and that’s awesome.
A woman with a healthy sex appetite will want sex minimum once or twice a day and she’ll often have fantasies you are secretly hoping she’s having. Don’t treat your woman like glass that will break to touch; talk to her about her deepest fantasies, explore her mind, lure her into giving away her desires. And then – surprise her. There’s no need to be demure about it. Sex is meant to be dirt-ish.
Learn her body
Whatever happened to foreplay, right? For some reason, we’ve collectively started skipping foreplay in a chase for the orgasm, and why? So we could ejaculate and get things over with. That works perfectly when it’s you and your hand doing the orgasming, but when you are with her, give her your full attention.
Go an extra mile to learn what feels good; treat her intimate parts with care and love, and she’ll get turned on more than you think. If you’ve got a friend who is a lesbian, ask her for some tips – you’ll score heavily, granted.
At first, she might feel weird… she MIGHT. But if you approach the whole thing as a game, a way into both of your most intense orgasms – she’ll hop on board. The thing with couple sex toys is that they’re more playing up your intellect and emotions than they impact the physical aspect. If she knows you get turned on using certain toys, she’ll do it to make you go “wooooaaah”. If you know she’s getting hot using other toys – do it. No excuses.
Copycat a Kamasutra position
It doesn’t have to be a Kamasutra per se, but any other sex handbook will serve you good. These books are written by sexologists and experts who have spent years in the field, studying human anatomy and the anatomy of orgasm. Do something unexpected and quirky like… make popcorn, open a bottle of wine and go through some adult books (both of you). Have her sit on top of you while you flip through the pages. Even if you don’t copy anything from the book (at that point), the idea itself will be a huge turn on.
There’s nothing as exciting as sex in public; no, nobody’s suggesting you fu*k her at the city centre but pulling something like initiating sex behind a car, in a public restroom, while sitting in a bar (fingering is fine, too), at the beach when (almost) everyone is gone, at the park, the subway, etc. Options are plenty.
Mornings for O
If there are some major issues in your relationship like breaking up and you want to know how to get your ex back (for women). Invite him to your place and spend the night talking and watching your favorite tv show like every good friend would do. The catch would be – wake him up with a felacio. Well, same goes for women – to kick start her day, fu*k her senseless in the morning. No, don’t be rough (unless that’s your thing) but rather, give her such a great orgasm that she’ll fly off to work… on foot. Morning sex should be the it rule of every healthy relationship. It must be.
…come to her from behind while she’s cooking, lift her skirt up or roll her sweatpants down and caress her with your penis. Surprise her while she’s showering and introduce some of the stimulating bath time products into your shower session. Sit next to her while she’s reading and lift her up on top of you, saying nothing, just looking at her. Place your hands under her butt and stimulate her while kissing her neck. Switch things up in the bed so she doesn’t get bored; couples generally tend to exercise same old same old moves because they know what’ll get them to cum. Well, go an extra mile and play with her. She’ll love it.
Watch porn together
Always hot. And that seals that argument.
Play adult games
Engage in a series of adult games that will spark up your curiosity and get you in the mood. Oftentimes, we don’t even know what hides behind our partner’s cool exterior and these games will tick that “dark” side off. Exciting!
Flirt like you’ve just met
Flirtation is key to every healthy relationship, and it goes both ways. What couples tend to forget when they’re together for years is that nothing is a given and nobody has to be there. They choose to be there. Make your partner feel desirable and wanted as much as when you guys met; introduce little gestures of attention, give each other sexy gazes, pay one another a spontaneous compliment like “I can’t believe how gorgeous you look” from time to time… it’s beautiful. Be gentle and respectful of one another and you’ll go a long way.
Life is too short to have bad sex, isn’t it? Sure. So, do something about it.
Peter is a lifestyle writer for TheGayUk magazine, living between London and Brisbane! His daily manta is "Squattin' and cocktailin' "!